Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Sliced Apples

The New York Times has an article on pre-sliced apples "bathed in an all-natural flavorless sealant" so that the apples "won't turn brown".

It turns out that the apple "is simply too poorly designed for today's busy eater".

Doesn't Mother Nature realize how busy today's eaters are? And why doesn't she figure out that limp-wristed modern Americans can't summon up the wrist-actions to actually cut up an apple?

I mean, how lazy do you have to be so that you can't cut up an apple into eight pieces, slice the seeds off, and put it on a plate? (The assumption is that for various reasons, say, dentures, braces, etc. you can't just wash it and bite in.)

Here is the stroke-by-stroke action:

[1] The first cut halves the apple. (1 stroke.)
[2] Lay each half down, and slice again (2 strokes.)
[3] For each quarter, two more strokes for eighths (4 strokes.)
[4] Hold each piece up, and slice the crap off (8 strokes.)

That's 15 strokes, and only because you want each piece to look nice.

The CC just wants to vent spleen at the fools.


Cheshire Cat said...

May be better to eat with the seeds, that way you get your daily cyanide fix...

ShockingSchadenfreude said...

The genetic pool would be better off if they ate the seeds!