Popcorn

Well, you may or may not have been reading about the ridiculous "microwave popcorn", and the chemical diacetyl causing cancer, etc, whoop-dee-doodle-doo, blahtee-bloody-blah.

Popcorn making is trivial. In fact, the CC is a big fan so he makes it often, and no funny chemicals need apply.

Let not these complete fools dissuade you. Follow these instructions, and you will have glorious golden popcorn every single time (unless you use red or blue corn.)

Ingredients

popcorn kernels
olive oil (or any vegetable oil)
salt

Recipe

First, note the ingredient list. Do you see anything funny?

No? Then the "microwave popcorn"-people are just nebbishes and clueless retards.

Pour a smallish amount of oil into a pot, something sturdy. Turn the heat to medium-low, definitely less than medium high, and toss in three to four corn kernels, and cover the pan (you need a sturdy cover too.)

Wait for the first pop or two. (this is the "hard" part.)

When they do, and the CC assures you, they will eventually, open the pan, toss in the salt, and the rest of the kernels, cover the pan again, lift the pan with gloves, shake horizontally vigorously (to cover the kernels in the oil and salt), put them back on the stove, and wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Do not turn the heat up. Just wait.

When they "finish" popping, pour them into a bowl, and enjoy. You may need to add extra salt or seasoning to taste.