Howto: Boil Eggs

The CC is aware that the title sounds ridiculous. How hard can it be?

Well, it seems that most people don't seem to be able to boil eggs without geting rubbery whites, and that nasty green sulphurish ring around the yolk.

The French abhor such abominations naturellement.

Let it be noted that you can't really hard boil extremely fresh eggs. The shell would stick. In the land of the supermarket, this is not really a problem but the principle should be noted.

Now, you may read elsewhere about the relative merits of dunking eggs in already boiling water v/s bringing them to a boil starting with eggs in cold water.

It doesn't matter.

However, the latter has two advantages. The first is that that you avoid lowering the temperature if you need to boil, say 12 eggs. Hence, you gain control and French technique has always been about control. Secondly, your eggs won't crack when being lowered into the water.

Here's how to get fool-proof eggs every single time.

Cover the eggs with sufficient cold water. Bring to a boil. Lower the heat to a simmer (this step is important!)

Consult the following table:

soft-boiled	4-6 mins
mollet	7 mins
hard-boiled	8-9 mins

Dunk them in cold water right away. Peel. Enjoy.

For hard-boiled eggs, the CC prefers the lower end of 8 minutes where the yolk has set but is still crumbly.

(On a side note, this is the first of many "howtos".)

Zucchini Fritters

Once you understand the basic idea, you'll realize that you can pretty much use any vegetable. Only caveat; they must be hand-grated, and then squeezed to remove the water.

If you want to be all nouveau about it, you can bake them instead of frying. They'll have the same texture minus the grease. Of course, if your goal is to be the size of Mark Bittman's ass then this is not an option.

Ingredients

1-2 zucchini grated
1 red onion grated
2 eggs
1/2 cup parmigiano-reggiano grated
breadcrumbs
salt
pepper

Recipe

Two eggs, salt and pepper. Whip 'em, whip 'em good.

Add the squeezed shredded zucchini and onions. You can actually "see" the squeezing part since they are in the shape of the CC's palm.

Parm plus breadcrumbs.

The final mixture. It will be slightly "loose", and it can be a bit tricky to shape them. Add more breadcrumbs if you're not totally comfortable with it.

Lay them out on a lightly oiled sheet, and bake at 450F for 20-22 minutes. You must turn them over at the 12 minute mark. (You could just pan fry them, of course.)

Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy. (The red sauce is Sriracha naturellement!)

Two Basics

There are two basic scientific principles that you must master if you are ever to become a really serious cook.

They are, respectively, caramelization and the Maillard reaction.

To the untrained naked eye, they appear similar ("browning of food") but they are really quite different.

Caramelization is the oxidation of sugar in the presence of heat. This is actually reasonably rare.

The Maillard reaction is a reaction between an amino acid and a reducing sugar in the presence of heat. Identified by Louis-Camille Maillard, this is single-handedly the most important idea in virtually any cuisine all around the world. There would be no "flavor" without this one.

Just to give you an idea of the ubiquity, and the importance of this, here's a short list of places which are all Maillard:

• Bread crust, toasted bread
  
• Condensed milk
  
• Roasted/seared/grilled meats
  
• Roasted coffee
  
• Milk caramel
  
• Roasted nuts
  
• Stock making
  
• roux
  
• roasted barley (= beer)
  

What the Chinese call wok hay is Maillard. Your grilled hamburger owes its taste to Maillard. Your browned cheese crust which is, oh so delicious, is nothing more than Maillard.

Please note that the two processes are not mutually exclusive. They may be taking place at the same time.

To master food, your must first master Master Maillard!

Addiction

The CC is an addict. What else can he say?

It's good on everything! Omelettes, samosas, fritters, tempura. Even tossed into a noodle broth.

Hot spicy deliciousness!

Mississippi Masala

The Mississippi Legislature is introducing a bill to ward off obesity. They are considering putting in a "door size" into fast food restaurants. If you can't fit in, you can't eat!

Sweet sufferin' stouties.

(Libertarians will note that this will just increase the drive-thru business not change anything.)

Sumac

Sumac is a Mediterranean spice with a sharp tart flavor. Do not confuse it with "poison sumac" (commonly found in the US.)

The berries are like tiny "flying saucers", and are best ground fresh. Sprinkled over raw onions, or hummus, or even baked on fresh bread, it is delicious. (Use it where you would add fresh lemons.)

Sarson da saag/Makki di roti

Ingredients

Sarson ka saag

6 cups mustard greens (chopped coarsely)
3 cups spinach (chopped coarsely)
1 large onion (diced)
3" ginger (diced)
3 green chillies (cut into thin rounds)
salt
finely ground corn flour

Makki di roti

2 cups finely ground corn flour
1/4 cup chapati flour
salt
water

Recipe

The mise-en-place.
Fry the onions at a medium heat.

Fry the ginger, and the green chillies.

Add the spinach and mustard greens. Cook until they wilt.

Pulse the mixture in a blender. Leave a little texture. Add the corn flour to thicken the mixture.

sarson ka saag
Knead the dough.

Roll it out gently, and lightly fry.

muy muy delicioso!

Pun-tastic

Last one is the CC's personal favorite. Great food in the Village too!

Anyone want to add to the list?

Cold-brewed Coffee

You don't understand coffee unless you've had this. The resulting coffee is nothing like you've had before. It has a velvety almost chocolatey texture, and unlike regular coffee has virtually no acidity. It also makes phenomenal "Thai iced coffee".

For once, the CC has moved up the order of posts to encourage the blog-readers to try this. The CC has been converted. Join the light!

Ingredients

1/3 cup coffee (medium grind)
2-1/2 cups cold water
lots of time

Recipe

Soak the ground coffee in cold water overnight (12-24 hours.)

Filter through a coffee filter + sieve.

Depending on the grind, you may need to dilute it with water. You can heat it to drink warm, or just drink it cold.

Unlike regular drip, this will not "spoil". You can store it for a few days (not that it will last that long.)

Quick Physics Quiz

... as applied to cooking.

The CC brews a cup of coffee, and it's piping hot. He needs it to cool it ASAP. Everyone knows that the CC is one hellasiously impatient fugger.

Wait for it to get cooler, and then add ice cold milk?

Or add ice cold milk, and then wait for it to cool?

Which one, and why?

C'mon scientists; put your money where your science is.

Food and Racial Insults

Food is so intimately tied in to culture that it is extremely natural to associate people with what they eat. Naturally, this leads to the metonymic extension of insulting someone based on what they eat (or are presumed to eat.)

See if you can guess who these are directed at, and why. Add your own too.

• limey
  
• frog
  
• kraut
  
• peppergut/pepperbelly
  
• goulash-eater
  
• locust-eater
  
• beaner
  
• rice-eater
  
• salmon-cruncher
  
• teabags
  
• kippers
  
• tamales
  
• les rosbifs (French)
  
• froschfresser (= "frog guzzler": German)
  
• knoblauchfresser (= "garlic guzzler": German)
  
• fajfokloki (= "five 'o clock-er": Polish)
  
• csiga (= "snail": Hungarian)
  
• platanos (= "plantains": Spanish)

Adrià! What have you wrought?

Akoori

A spicy Parsi breakfast recipe.

Classic Indian (North Indian and Gujarati) spices combined with French technique.

Toss in the tomato and you have multiculturalism before the word (and world) even knew it existed.

There are probably as many recipes as there as Parsi families, and there are all kinds of variations ("fried cubed potatoes") but why let details stop us from enjoying a classic meld of New World elements, Indian spices and French technique?

Ingredients

6 eggs (beaten)
1 finely diced onion
4 tbsp ginger-garlic paste
3 green chillies (diced into very thin rounds)
2 large tomatoes diced
2 tbsp cumin seeds
salt and pepper to taste

Recipe

First up, the CC should observe that all egg recipes should only be cooked at two temperatures -- low, and medium low, and the latter is reserved for omelettes. If there is one piece of French technique that will serve you exceedingly well, it's this one.

The mise-en-place.

Fry the onion at medium low heat.

Add the ginger-garlic paste, and fry for a bit. At each time, you want to control the wetness of the dish making sure you are actually frying not steaming in the released water.

Add the green chillies, and the cumin. Fry for a bit.

Add the tomatoes, and fry for a bit. Turn the heat down to low.

Add the eggs. Since you are scrambling, pull in the cooked eggs from the outer edge to the center and scrape the bottom of the center to let the eggs cook.

Akoori (with toast)

La Varenne Pratique

Even if you have no interest in classical French cuisine, Anne Willan's book is without a doubt the most comprehensive in-depth introduction to cooking in a professional manner.

This is the practical counterpart of Harold McGee's "On Food and Cooking". It has everything from how to "chop herbs" to "how to cut up a cow" (French way v/s American way -- yep! it's different.)

Please be informed that this is a serious tome that is "work" and not to be taken lightly. That being said, the CC is in love, and is spending absurd amounts of time poring over the book.

Highly highly recommended!