Sabudana Vada

If you come away from this recipe thinking that this is the bastard love-child of this and this, you would basically be correct.

Isn't that the point? To understand the underlying unity of the subject?

Ingredients

2 boiled potatoes
1 cup sago (soaked)
1 cup crushed peanuts
ginger-green chilli paste
1 tbsp cumin

salt

1/4 cup chopped cilantro leaves (missing below)

Recipe

Soak the sago as described here. Boil the potatoes, and mash them.

The crushed peanuts, ginger-green-chili paste, and the spices.

Toss in the sago, and the mashed potatoes.

Mix together. You may need to add some water but don't add too much.

You can just pan-fry them, or bake them.

Sabudana vada

Baked Spinach-Stuffed Shells : The Stuffing

Ingredients

spinach
1 small red onion (diced)
pine nuts
2 eggs
salt
pepper

grated mozzarella
grated parmigiano-reggiano

Recipe

You need to blanch the spinach in boiling water for 30 seconds. Drain. Squeeze until it can be squeezed no more. Chop. Or thaw frozen if y'all are boring. Which some of you are. The CC won't mention who.

Y'all are all experts so this is after the first three steps.

Fry the onion. What temperature? Medium low. Yep, y'all are experts. Then the salt and peppper, then the pine nuts.

Then the spinach. You're frying so there should be no water in the spinach. That's where the squeezing until you can squeeze no more comes in handy.

The mixture of cheeses (just to show.)

Wait for the spinach stuff to cool, add it to the cheese, crack open two eggs, and mix the whole thing together.

Fusion

A baguette slathered with cilantro chutney, and lined with paper-thin slices of tomatoes and parmigiano-reggiano.

We leave the "purists" to their niggling nitpicking nickelfuckery.

A Tale of Two Chutneys

Let's get down and dirty about two Indian chutneys; one from the North and the other from the South.

Everyone gets to compare and contrast. This is more about you than India.

Are you lazy or involved? Are you complex or simple?

Ideally, they'd be ground with with a mortar and pestle similar to the Mexican molcajete, but who is the CC kidding? If he starts giving instructions for mortar and pestle, he'll lose what limited audience he has already.

Anyway, both the chutneys rock; and they are delightfully spreadable like a ..., well, you folks get the metaphor, right?

We do them in reverse order of difficulty.

South Indian Coconut Chutney

Ingredients

2 tbsp chana daal
1 cup cilantro leaves
1" ginger (coarsely diced)
5-6 Thai green chillies (substitute with 2 serranos)
1 cup coconut flakes (frozen is not just fine, it's brilliant!)

1 tbsp mustard
2 tbsp urad daal
1/2 tsp asafoetida
8-10 curry leaves

salt
lime juice (to taste)

Recipe

Roast the chana till it is dark golden. It's already yellow so there's a fine line between roasting and burning.

Blend the chana, cilantro, coconut, ginger, and green chillies with some salt and lime juice. Try and blend it with the least amount of water so that you can control it later.

Heat some oil in a pan. Toss in the mustard seeds until they splutter and burst. Toss in the asafoetida, the urad, and the curry leaves.

Toss in this mixture inside the blended mixture.

Yeah, this is hard. You don't want to heat up the blended mixture. There are instruments and techniques but this is not something that can easily be described.

You can always just add a tiny amount of water to the fried mixture, wait for it to cool, and then mix the two.

Just do your best. This is hard to screw up.

North Indian Chutney

4 cups cilantro leaves
1 cup peanuts (shelled, roasted)
5-6 Thai green chillies (substitute with 2 serranos.)
salt
lime juice.

Recipe

There's even a version that skips the peanuts but the CC likes them 'cause they add some zing.

Toss the stuff in a blender. Blend till smooth-ish.

Easy peasy.

Provençal Garlic Soup

Tired of vampires? Who isn't these days?

Make this lovely Provençal soup, and keep your house safe for a whole year. Delightfully easy too.

Wicked technique for roasting garlic. Why isn't this more well known?

Ingredients

1/4 cup olive oil (approximate. see below.)
4 whole garlic heads (1 per person basically)
4 tbsp flour
4 cups broth (you see where these 4's are going!)
broken pasta (spaghetti or linguini)
fresh thyme/rosemary

olive oil (yo! listen up!)
sea salt (yo! one more time, listen up!)
pepper

chopped parsley
dried bread

Recipe

First, a quick note. There seem to be an absurd number of both pictures and instructions for what is, after all, a peasant recipe.

The CC attributes this largely to our sheer disconnect from cultural context. There is something absurdly ironic about taking digital pictures and giving instructions about what uneducated, and yet from a culinary perspective, absurdly sophisticated people can whip up at a moment's notice.

Have we really progressed if we eat so badly?

Enough philosophy. On with the show.

First, the garlic. A picture is more explanatory than a thousand words. One clean chop per garlic head (four total), and we're done.

Then, we pour olive oil over a baking tray, and lay the garlic heads down upon it. Do not stinge on the olive oil. The garlic will suck it up like a two-bit whore.

Bake at 350F for roughly an hour. You will need to keep checking; it really depends on the size of the garlic heads.

Note how the tops of the heads just slide off. Bitchin'!!!

Pop the rest out with a paring knife. They will be super soft, and a bit sticky.

There may be a few burnt ones at the edges if you are not careful. It's like war. You can't rescue everybody. Learn to let go.

Master Maillard shows up twice in this recipe. The roasted garlic is the first part.

Add the flour. Crush completely with a ricer. Do not heat the mixture until you have completely finished this step, or else you will end up with a thin floury soup rather than rich complex soup.

If you need, add more oil to form the paste. Do NOT add water. You can always skim it off later but it is crucial that the flour fry not boil. You may recognize this as nothing more than Master Maillard in action one more time.

Heat the vessel gently, The oil liberated from the roasted garlic is going to fry the flour. Wait till the flour changes color. It will be fairly obvious.

Add the HEATED broth very very slowly. If you don't have broth, use water. Don't worry; this is a peasant soup.

The key part of the "heated" is that you want to suspend the flour in the water. If you screw it up, which you very well may, just use an immersion blender, to blend it while it is still cold (so you can skim it later.)

If you don't have an immersion blender, just do what the mammas do. Crush the flour with a wooden spoon against the sides of the pot.

Let these two instructions stand as proof that the CC is not a "purist". The CC is a "pragmatist". There are key steps that may not be skipped, and then there's the rest.

Add the rosemary (or thyme.) The CC just uses cooking twine so he can easily fish it out.

Lots of oil and assorted impurities will come to the surface. Skim, baby, skim.

Let it simmer gently for 20 mins.

You may store the soup at this point if you want to make it in advance. Reheat it when you need to. You may need to add some extra water to control the texture (The CC needed it even when he didn't store it.)

Add the broken noodles, and let it simmer till the noodles are done (depends on the brand.)

Dice the parsley fine, and serve over crusty bread.

On a side note, this soup stores well. Just add fresh parsley after you reheat it.

Per Se

Per Se reminds the CC of why he doesn't go out to eat in the "white tablecloth" restaurants.

Pitch perfect food but emotionally frigid.

The CC assumes readers have heard of the above restaurant and Thomas Keller. There was a 9-course menu, etc. and it was excellent. However, it was the equivalent of dancing with someone who spends all their time more concerned about their hair not falling out of place than having a good time.

The CC will also note the nosebleed borderline-larcenious prices.

Mr. Keller should note that at those prices errors are not forgiven. A waiter trying to take away a course before the diner has finished not once but four times is clearly not acceptable particularly when the restaurant is 60% empty for "second seating" on a Saturday!

Leaning over to refill water and coffee in front of the diner while he/she is speaking is pretty much a no-no straight out of the Culinary School 101. That it happened repeatedly is simply unforgivable.

The idea isn't that Mr. Keller isn't brilliant (he is, and the CC is competely and utterly in awe!) It's that now that "sous vide" and "shaved salt" has spread far and wide into the repertoire of the average talented culinary student, and that Mr. Keller's discoveries are accessible to the average homecook, he needs to amp up his game, or drop the prices (or both.)

Let's turn to some current pop songs to finish the review.

Is the CC sorry he went?

Non, je ne regrette rien!

Would the CC go again?

Don't take me back to Per Se, no, No, NO!

Baked Spinach-Stuffed Shells : The Sauce

This is your basic tomato sauce. Make it like an Italian mamma, and you'll never eat in a restaurant again.

Follow these instructions scrupulously. The CC means it. You'll get fabulous sauce, won't have to do much work, and you'll impress people and be (moderately) lazy at the same time.

Not as easy as opening a jar but a crapload better.

Just for the record, the CC once made this for someone who worked for Thomas Keller. Mr. Snooty McSnootington sniffed at the CC's attempt at conversation until after the first bite. After that the CC could do no wrong.

Yeah, it's that good. Yeah, it's that basic that every mamma in Italy once made it. Yeah, the CC is gloating.

Whyever not?

Ingredients

12 ripe tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste (in winter)
1 small red onion (diced)
3 cloves garlic (smashed)
salt
freshly ground pepper

freshly shaved nutmeg (yeah, you heard that right!)

Recipe

First you need to dunk the tomatoes in boiling water for roughly 7 minutes, and pass them through a food mill. You can do this while you mix yourself a drink.

Fry the onions and garlic at a medium low heat.

Did you listen to the instructions?

Let's try that again. Medium low heat. Do not turn it up. The CC knows you want to. Resist.

This is not about you, and your pathetic harried hurried life. This is for the betterment of your soul (and along the way, better food which is part of it.)

Thank you! Onward with the sauce.

Grind the salt and pepper (not shown), and toss in the tomato paste. Fry languidly.

Add in the tomatoes passed through the food mill. Turn the heat DOWN to a low. Yeah, you heard the CC. Turn it down.

Do not attempt to hurry this step.

Yes, it will take a while for the (relatively cold) tomato pulp to heat up. No, you shouldn't turn the heat up. Yes, the CC will kick your ass if you do.

Also, do not cover the pot. This is a divorceable offence in Sicily, a law the CC fully and firmly supports. Thank heavens for certain standards.

Go drink your drink now.

Check the sauce every 20 minutes. Skim, baby, skim. Get those fatty impurities out.

Languidly enjoy that drink.

The sauce will make itself in about an hour. This is also the point where the sauce will start giving off luscious smells.

The sauce (after about an hour)
Note the reduction, and the darkening of color. Turn the heat off, and shave the nutmeg over it. The sauce will be sweet-sour, and the nutmeg acts as a slightly bitter flavoring agent that balances the flavors. It will take on a subtle complexity beyond being just sweet and tart. The lovely fragrance and the (moderate) hallucinatory dreams are part of the betterment of your soul. Very traditionally Italian too.

Pasta Shapes

What's the difference you ask?

Well, some of it is just tradition ("would you eat hamburgers on a hot dog bun?") but some it has to do with the difference between the tastes of freshly made pasta (= "contains eggs"), and dried pasta (= "dried durum wheat dough"). Also certain shapes can hold certain sauces better thanks to the crevices or even just the surface texture. Also fresh pastas are traditionally paired with fairly minimalist but richer sauces.

Here's a site with some nice pictures.

Poached Eggs (Redux)

Well, the post that seems to have generated the most controversy is the one on poaching eggs. Clearly, the CC should stick to less controversial topics like "abortion" or "assisted suicide". That kinda thing.

Let us revisit the topic pictorially in a way that everyone can understand:

This is a spatula.
These are two eggs.
Eggs and a spatula.
See the eggs.
See the spatula.
See the eggs and the spatula.

This is water.
Water in a pan.
Turn the heat on.
Watch the water boil.

See water boil.
Boil, water, boil.

Turn heat off.
See water not boil.

Crack the eggs.
Crack the eggs in the water.
Eggs are in the water.
See the eggs poach.
Poach, eggs, poach.

Two poached eggs.

Nutmeg : Innocent Spice or Hallucinogenic?

Many people think that the nutmeg is harmless.

BUT IS IT?

Nutmeg contains myristicin and elemicin which are hallucinogenics. Don't let your children eat nutmeg.

JUST SAY NO!


The CC couldn't resist that little parody but the basic thought is correct. Nutmeg does lead to colorful dreams. Of course, the CC doesn't know of a suitable "double blind" study but he's happy to go with the empirical evidence.

The Romans used to burn it. Whether or not they "inhaled" is best left to the imagination. We have no evidence but the CC will point out that people didn't exactly import exceedingly expensive spices (back in the day) just to toss them into the fire without any payoff from the Gods or otherwise.

In any case, what is clear is that the Italians adore their noce moscata ("Walnuts from Muscat", or "Oriental Walnuts" for a less-literal, more metaphorically-accurate translation), and use it in dishes both sweet and savory.

Artistically-minded readers will, of course, note the metaphorical (and literal) associative conjoining of "dreams" with the Orient.

Words of Wisdom

When making sourdough (or sourdough brethren like idli, etc.), you need to put them in large bowls with lots of space so that the stuff doesn't overflow and make a huge mess, and you start your day by cleaning a mess.

Learn, wise people, from the foolishness of the CC!

Upma

The CC has been craving this but he had run out of ingredients. To add insult to injury, a friend mentioned via chat that she was making it. The CC could've killed her for bringing it up on a day where heavy downpours coincided with unachievable cravings.

So an quick trip to the store the next day, he set out to make it.

The idea is simple. Take finely ground wheat (cream of wheat, farina, rava), and cook it with spices till it's light and fluffy. The similarity to both couscous (tiny cooked pasta), grits (tiny bits of corn), and innumerous similar dishes worldwide should be noted.

Ingredients

1 cup rava (cream of wheat)
1 small onion (finely diced)
2-3 green chillies (finely chopped)
1/2 cup broken cashewnuts
assorted finely diced vegetables (carrots, peas)

1 tbsp mustard seeds
1 tbsp urad daal
asafoetida
8-10 curry leaves

1-2 tbsp lime juice

Recipe


Fry some mustard seeds at medium heat, add the urad daal and the asafoetida, followed by the curry leaves. Apologies for the bad quality of this picture but the CC had to get to the next step before the daal burnt.

Add the onions, green chillies, and let it fry for a while.

Add the cashews and let them fry.

Now, we need to roast the rava at medium to medium high heat. This step cannot be hurried. It is the source of the deliciousness thanks to Master Maillard. If you don't do this, or try to speed it up, you will end up with boiled wheat (which tastes about as good as it sounds.)

The mixture needs to be stirred continuously until it turns a pale brown. Do not let it burn.

The vegetables should go in towards the tail end.

This is the hardest step to describe. There are two ways to do this. The "Indian" way, or the CC's way.

The Indian way involves adding the roasted rava to water. This requires you to correctly gauge the amount of water and lime ahead of time, and mess around with splashage. The CC's way is slower but will get you flawless mess-free results that are indistinguishable from the original.

Add water a few tablespoons at a time using a tablespoon. Do not "pour". Stir, and break up the lumps. The idea is to let them steam in the tiny amount of water. Keep repeating this quite slowly until it becomes hard to break up the lumps at which point stop adding water. Towards the end, you should add the lime juice if you like. Yes, the CC is aware that these instructions sound like "get off two stops before the last one" but what can he do?

Take the pot off the heat at the end. Even the modest heat coming off a gas stove will destroy it. After all this work, you don't want to blow it in the last step without even realizing it.

Do this right and you will end up with a light and fluffy delight.

Do this wrong and you will end up with something that looks like fratboy upchuck after an all night kegger.

The CC knows he won't earn any points for subtlety with that simile but readers "in the know" will give him high marks for dead-on accuracy.

Fluffy delicious upma

Ponkh

A January-February specialty in the agricultural regions of Western India, ponkh (in Gujarati; in Marathi = hurda) are the young immature seeds of sorghum (jowar.)

They are delicious raw, or roasted, and are eaten, among the Gujarati population, with a fiery peppery sev (= fried chickpea dough.) Sometimes people add sugar or sugar bits but the CC never cared much for that.

Unfortunately, they have a shelf life of about a day (after which they turn all sticky and nasty) and so they don't travel at all.

The CC used to be a big fan (as was his grandfather before him.)

[ On a side note, this idea for the post was a suggestion by a fellow reader who also pointed out its seasonal nature thus forcing the CC to write about it pronto. Take a bow, young lady. You know who you are. ]

Curry Leaves

Unique aroma when fried, and absolutely critical for South Indian cooking. Probably the only ingredient that the CC craves on a regular basis but it is not that easy to obtain (involves making a long trip.)

Just for the record, the dried stuff sucks. Better than nothing but still not the real deal. The CC has some but is severely underwhelmed.

Perhaps the CC should just grow his own, huh?

Pasta Puttanesca

The name translates to "whore's pasta", and there seem to be many origins for the etymology.

One is that whores used it to attract customers. The other is that married women could jump out for their evening assignation with their lovers, and still get back in time to make this simple dish.

Unfortunately, as charming as the stories are, neither stands up in the light of clear hard-headed logic. Why would whores want to kiss "garlic- and anchovy-breath"? And wouldn't husbands figure out if there was a "standard" dish that all tryst-seeking wives were making?

Nevertheless, the dish is quite the "dish". It ticks off all the correct boxes, and hits all the high notes of simple Italian food.

Easy? CHECK.
Salty? CHECK.
Umami? CHECK.
Carbs? CHECK.

Naturally with dishes of this nature there are as many variations as housewives (or their lovers.)

Ingredients

8 cloves garlic
6-8 anchovies
olives
capers (salt-preserved NOT brined in vinegar)
2 dried red chillies
tomatoes (or just use homemade "tomato paste")
parsley
salt
pepper

pasta (cooked al dente)

Recipe

First up, the mise-en-place. Clockwise, we have garlic, pasta, capers, tomatoes with anchovies in the center. (The tomatoes are chopped even though it's not obvious from the picture. The capers have been removed from the salt, and washed till the salt is gone.)

Fry the whole garlic, when it is dark golden, add the anchovies. They will just "melt". Add the red chillies (not shown.)

Toss in the tomatoes, cook for a bit. Grate some fresh pepper (not shown.) Go easy on the salt. The anchovies are typically salted, and it's easy to overdo it. You can always add it later.

Toss in the olives and capers, cook for a bit.

The sauce is ready. Add some parsley at the last minute (not shown.)

Add the pasta, mix thoroughly, and shave some parmigiano-reggiano over it.

Howto: Poach Eggs

There seem to be many theories. Salt or no salt, vinegar to help the white solidify, etc.

Ignore everything.

Poaching is, quite literally, as easy as it gets. If ever the CC teaches Cooking 101, poaching an egg will be Day 1, Lesson 1.

In a wide relatively-shallow pan, bring water to a boil. The pan should be deep enough that the water will cover the cracked eggs. Only crack as many eggs as the pan can reasonably hold.

Shut off the heat (this is important!)

Crack the eggs. Do absolutely nothing. Lift when poached to whatever consistency you prefer.

Moderate Reconfiguration

Well, the blog is going to undergo some gentle reconfiguration. Labels are being tagged on going backwards to make it more useful. Useful suggestions are welcomed.

No posts will be changed.

Simplicity

Hard-boiled egg with sumac.

Daal Makhani/Maa ki daal

A North-Indian specialty, mostly made in craptacular lackluster fashion by so-called "Indian" restaurants. Fortunately, we can do much better even lacking a tandoor.

A quick note about the finishing step. If you want a richer taste, you would add cream. If you want a more "home down" taste, you would add yogurt (preferably home-made which has a slightly sour edge to it.) Both are traditional (and that's why the title has two names in it.)

The CC prefers the latter because it adds a slight piquancy to the dish.

Also, before the purists tan the living daylights out of the CC, he should add that the tomatoes are not totally traditional. However, they are also not not traditional. So you're on your own here.

The CC ate it with parathas but it's quite tasty with a simple pulao as well.

Ingredients

1 cup whole urad daal (aka maa ki daal)
1/8 cup rajma (red kidney beans)

1 stick cinnamon
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp black peppercorns
4-5 cardamom pods

1 large red onion (finely diced)

1 inch ginger
2-3 green chillies

whipped Greek yogurt (or cream)

Recipe

Soak the two daals overnight. This picture is taken after the soaking, when they were drained. You have two choices here. Either pressure cook the lentils before you add them (see below), or you can add them and simmer.

The mise-en-place. The stuff at the bottom is the ginger-green-chilli paste. Contrary to popular belief, the Indians don't add garlic to everything.

Dry roast the spices. The trick to the taste is the cardamom. Finely grind them in a coffee grinder.

Fry the onions at a medium heat. Add the ginger-green-chilli paste, and fry for a bit.

Now, here's the trick. Add only half the ground spices and fry them. We will use the rest to "finish" the dish. Naturally, the spices must be fried before the tomatoes. Be quick as it's a powder and will burn easily.

Add the lentils, and let them simmer for at least 20 minutes. You must gently scrape the bottom of the pot periodically or they will stick.

Note: this was the step they would've just sealed the pot (with dough,) and stuck it in the tandoor for a few hours. Lacking that, this is the best you're going to able to do.

Add the rest of the spices (not shown) followed by the finishing step -- the addition of the yogurt.

If you add yogurt, you must simmer it for a bit longer. Do not do this with cream or else you'll ruin the dish.

maa ki daal